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13. Now what?

Now what? That is a question I ask a lot. In big life questions, or in the smallest scenario. I can't seem to move forward without a plan, or multiple plans. If this experience has taught me anything, it is that is that is a futile question. So often in the process of moving on from this, I felt completely stuck. Like I had come to a place that didn't offer any forward momentum. As I have referenced previously, those moments of uncertainty, the ones where other's cannot understand the urgency where I have to move breeds panic inside of me, where I flail around looking for a way out. There were so many of these moments, so many moments where I felt like my air supply was cut off. It was like I was in this glass box that I could see out and people could see in, but I couldn't move. I couldn't move and someone else held the key to let me out and I had no say as to when that would happen. I refused, for so long, to just look around at what was in the waiting. In the mom...

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